Quarantine..

“Sometimes, you just need a break. In a beautiful place. Alone. To figure out everything.” These past days have really been confusing, I keep wondering what’s going to happen tomorrow. Where is all this chaos from? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately as well and honestly God has been good. We may not be in a beautiful place right now but I believe this season is here for a reason, to draw our attention to something we are missing. This season is here to get us right with God. It hasn’t been easy for me this past year but I’ll share my story with you to encourage you and to encourage myself as well. Why have a blog and share only the good stuff with your readers when there are other things you’ve gone through that they can benefit from?

For sometime now I forgot about this blog. Not that I stopped writing, but I just forgot I had this website. I remember when I started this website, I was so into it! I would stay awake for long hours trying to make this look ”good enough” for people to read. I had so much to write about and I was excited! I had big plans for this blog because I knew I had found what I was good at doing in the kingdom. What happened? I graduated high school, that’s what happened. I know a lot of you might think that’s a dumb reason but think about it; are you living the life you planned to live after high school? I thought I was ready for the world, ready to live according to the virtues I learnt from school. Ready to be “Miss Perfect“ in God’s eyes and that nothing was going to stop me. Sitting here writing this, I realize I was not only unprepared for what was ahead but I hid my fears about the real world and decided to live it my way. I have learnt so much this past year. I lived every single day of my holidays praying and hoping I stay on track. I read my Bible as often as I did when I was in school. I believed I was playing this game so well I was never going to lose! My game changer was the university. To me the university is the “real world”.

I entered the university with the “never lose God, stick to my books and have fun“ kind of mindset . To be honest with you,all this happened except the “never lose God” part. I didn't lose God as in I stopped believing or praying but I lost God in the little things everyday. Little things? Yes! Little things like forgetting to pray before I slept, feeling lazy to go to church, reading my Bible like once a month (tbh I was doing good in high school, I used to read it everyday!) , struggling to have my quiet time and many others. I noticed all this but it was hard for me to pick myself up because I believed I had failed God. I kept telling myself I should have done better, I should have known better and I blamed myself for everything. I had been encouraging a lot people but there I was, not knowing who to turn to. I still prayed once in a while, when I felt I just couldn’t keep it all to myself. I finally opened up and spoke to a friend and what he told me shook me! “You don’t have to try so hard to be perfect. You can’t and will never be perfect. You should expect bad things to happen just as you expect good things in life. You shouldn’t let one mistake keep you down forever. God knows you can’t do it all by yourself. It’s just impossible.”

That was when I decided to rethink my decision not to seek help. I understood what I was up against now and I knew how to go about it. I know most of us try to live the perfect life for God but deep down we know we are suffering. It’s not easy to be in the university setting and refuse to do certain things. I recently just read my post on a Christian’s diet and I realized all the things I wrote would have been so easy for me to do if I believed and did it with all my heart instead of trying to please God and others . I know this life isn’t easy but we can do it if we stop putting pressure on ourselves! We need to stop comparing our lives to others, you are not the same and you don’t have the same destinies! I felt so relieved when I started doing things slowly and not forcing anything on myself. You may not know where you are now but I want to let you know that whatever you think you’ve done wrong, whatever mistake, God understands! Look God knows us, we don’t have to try so hard to show Him someone we are not.

Be real with God. Open up to Him. I spent one night talking to God about myself, about who I really am, the things I like and I things I don’t like. I apologized for the things I had done wrong and I asked for a chance to make things right. After that I saw a change in myself; how I think about things, and how positive I was about everything. God is ever ready to help, you just have to go to Him. Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, let us settle the matter," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

I know you’ve read all the way to this point but here is what I actually want you to do. In this season of quarantine, pick yourself up from where you left off. Let’s go back in time and remember how beautiful it was with the Lord. You have so much time to do that. Take it one step at a time, don’t force it. Appreciate the people around you. As I watch the reports about the deaths being recorded, I knew I’d not be happy if any member of my family members were to be part but guess what? Their families also did same. This is a chance to reconnect with family and make long lasting memories. Take time to reflect on your life. Try to see the little good things in all of this and remain calm. God is with us and always will be. The Lord is fighting for us in this season and we have to remain calm and pray more. Just like I decided to go back, I think it’s time for you to renew your fire as well. Stay safe. 2nd Chronicles 7:14

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will heal their land."

Prayer: I am not worthy, O Lord, for I have sinned and fallen short of your glory. Father, even as I have confessed and you have forgiven me, I pray that you touch the lives of those reading to open up to you for a change as well. It is not easy in these times God, but we look to you, our Healing Father to save us. Bless us and keep us alive to tell our story. In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.